Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Top Blockbuster not to see this Summer - Transformers

Ok, so I just came back from seeing the Micheal Bay movie - Transformers. What an abyssmal piece of Movie making.

To all you fans, here's a big piece of advice, save $20 and go to Blockbuster and rent the cartoon version. Much more satisfaction.

Ok, to dissect the movie - no spoilers as there's nothing left that can be spoiled:

1) You know that annoying Jar Jar from Star Wars? Well, I think I found where he ended up! His new Alias is Frenzy, and he's every bit as annoying. The animation was horrible looking. The robot never really looked like anything but a tangly mess of wires. The campy robot acting got tired after the first 30 second clip; and yet, like a horribly bad budget version of The Terminator, he kept coming back.

2) Assuming I can forgive the obvious ploy to appeal to the kids from 1) above, I cannot forgive the fact that 1 hour into this travesty, I still haven't identified with any of the Autobots. I almost wish they would get their butts kicked. Thus far, the only identification is with Sam, played by Shia LaBeouf. However, if we want to keep somewhat with the tradition of the original Transformers cartoon, this movie should be strictly about the Autobots and the Decepticons. The humans are there only by chance, and we really should have had much more dialog and character development for the Autobots, at the very least.

3) I think the thing that really killed the movie is the lack of a good plot/story. How in gods name are they going to make any sequels, which apparently they already have planned. Oh well, at least it couldn't get much worse than this. No expectations. The sad thing is, this movie will make lots of money, for all the wrong reasons, and they will make sequels which will probably make just as much money and be just as bad.

4) Finally, here's my last real beef. Now, to all you would be filmmakers, listen up. When you shoot an action sequence, make sure the audience can follow the action. There's absolutely no point in having a significant portion of your actions sequences in 'blur-motion'. And this film is rife with "I can't see a bloody thing". It would have been much more effective to have liberal doses of 'slow-mo' on the critical hits for effect. All I remember of the 'big' actions sequences are a yellow-blue blur of motion. Let's see if the director(s) for the sequel has any better visual eye for producing action fight sequences. Maybe they'll consult some of the Kung Fu movie expects.

Anyway, now that I'm so disappointed, I think I'll crack a six pack.